Operation Denial !!

Taken from my other blog: https://asprao78.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/have-some-green-tea/

Last week, one fine morning in Islamabad:

(It’s just another working day as usual in the Pakistani capital. PM Nawaz Sharif is sitting in his office sipping green tea and nursing his forehead. His eyes look red and dark circles surround his face and he is in a zombie like state. All of a sudden, the intercom on his desk buzzes, startling him and making him spill the hot green tea on his lap)

Nawaz: Ahyiiii ….. damn!! I must remember to reduce the bloody volume.

(Reaches for the intercom and turns it on)

Nawaz: What is it? I told you not to disturb me so early in the morning!!

(Glances at the clock. Time shows 10:30 AM PST).

Secretary: Sorry Sir. But it’s the Army Chief. He wants to speak to you urgently.

Nawaz: (Thinks: Oh no! Not that guy again. He’s just the one person I don’t want to meet first thing in the morning.)

(Speaks wearily on the phone)

All right! Send him in. And don’t send anyone else until I have fully recovered from my hangover!

Secretary (stifling a giggle): Yes sir!

(He disconnects and starts pouring two cups of green tea. The Pak Army chief comes rushing in, a map in hand)

Nawaz: Good Morning my friend. How wonderful it is to see you. Here, sit down and have some green tea.

Pak AC: Liar!! Damn the green tea! This news just came in. 

(He throws the map towards Nawaz who picks it up with one hand and starts reading it while holding the green tea cup with the other)

Nawaz (stares at the paper intently for sometime and exults suddenly): Hmmm …. Hey what’s this?? Can this be true ?? Yippee … now Kashmir is ours!! And India have shifted base to Tibet! New Delhi is now in Tibet !! Hahahaha !!

Pak AC (irritated): You’re reading the map upside down …. Ahh  well never mind …. Let me tell you the gist of it. The Indian Army crossed the LOC and launched a massive surgical strike on our camps in Kashmir last night. Our guys didn’t stand a chance. Seven of our camps were destroyed. Lost quite a few good men.

Nawaz (shocked): WHAT!!? A surgical Strike? (Startled he once again drops some hot green tea on his lap)Ahyiiii …..!! (Recovers)Surgical strikes did you say? And that too in Kashmir? How dare they?? And what in Jannat’s name were you doing? Sipping green tea in your cosy cabin??

Pak AC (angry): Don’t give me that tone!! Don’t forget who runs this country!!

Nawaz (meekly): Of Course … Of Course ……. I was just … err…. A bit curious. I think they (the Indians) must have stopped by on their routine trek …. To have some green tea perhaps?? Did they leave any souvenirs?

Pak AC(visibly embarrassed): No, they left nothing behind. They came, they destroyed and they

simply left.

Nawaz (Sweetly): How rude of them!! We always leave something for them when we visit don’t we??

Pak AC (coughs and splutters): What!!? Do we?? Yes we do … I mean no we don’t …. I mean  … aah never mind!!

(Nawaz is about to reply when the Indo-Pak hotline phone on his desk buzzes. Nawaz picks it up to hear Narendra Modi’s voice on the other end.)

Modi: Nawaz Bhai, kem cho? Majaa maa?

Nawaz: Majaa maa Modi bhai! Ekdum Saras!!

(The Pak AC coughs a bit and raps his fingers on Sharif’s desk, to express dissatisfaction.)

Nawaz: Oh .. I .. er… yeah! So what’s the purpose of this call Modi?

Modi: Nawaz, I just called to tell you some news that you should hear. My boys crossed over into the LOC last night and conducted some surgical strikes against terror camps located near the border. I don’t have the exact number now but there were significant casualties. I will brief you more on that later.

Nawaz: So I heard! Well don’t worry you old fox. I am going to give you a ‘Befitting reply.’

Modi: Really? Well, I’ll be waiting.

(Hangs up)

Nawaz (looking worried): The press is going to have a field day on this. How do I explain? We can’t even blame India on this one.

Pak AC: What do you mean? They have already owned up to it right?

Nawaz: Yes, that’s the point! They have already owned up to it. Bugger! I was really looking forward to gathering incriminating evidence and playing the blame game. It would help kill time in parliament and the press and TV running. Damn those Spoil-sports!!

Pak AC: Yes … Damn them!! And this had to happen just a few months before my tenure ends. (Sighs) I was really looking forward to retiring peacefully and spending the rest of my life sipping green tea in my villa in Liverpool.

(Nawaz coughs gently … a very suggestive cough)

Pak AC (face turning red): Did I say Liverpool … I actually meant Lahore …. And it’s a small two bedroom flat …nothing more …. Slip of the tongue.

(Sharif says nothing and smiles knowingly)

Pak AC (hurriedly): Let’s come back to the problem now shall we? Whom do we pin this on?

(Both remain silent for some moments, deep in thought. After some time the Pak AC snaps his finger)

Pak AC: I know what! Let’s blame it on the ISI.

Nawaz (frowning): The ISI?? What do they know?

Pak AC: That’s the point! They were supposed to know of this and were supposed to tip us off weren’t they?

Nawaz (face brightening): You’re right! Let’s pin it on them. Let me call that Jack-Ass ISI chief right away. I wonder where he’s jacking off.

He picks up his cell phone and dials a number. A couple of rings are heard and then a click sound indicating that someone has picked up the phone

Nawaz (Angrily): Did you know what happened last night?

Angry voice on the other end: You bet! You were out having a wild party and drank yourself out. Didn’t even come home. I heard you had to be carried out. Where did you spend the night you #$#$#$?

Nawaz (face turns crimson red): Oh hello Begum!! How are you dear?? Sorry I meant to call someone else.

Nawaz’s wife: Of course you were! Just wait till you come home tonight! And if you ever speak to me in that tone again, then no food for you! Don’t forget who runs this country!

Nawaz: Of course Begum! Love you dear!! Bye! (Thinks: @#$@#$#@$ smartphone keyboard)

(Ends the call and wipes the sweat dripping off his forehead. The Army chief watches him with an amused expression.) 

Pak AC: Wrong number??

Nawaz says nothing and dials a number on his cell-phone again, this time watching carefully. Call connects to the ISI chief who is currently sitting in his office in ISI HQ, sipping green tea!

ISI Chief: Hello Nawaz, what a pleasant surprise!  Good Morning!

Nawaz: Never mind the greetings. Do you know what happened last night?

ISI Chief: Yes I do. And I’m not surprised you don’t remember. That was quite a party!! What fun we had?? You literally had to be carried out.

Nawaz: Not that you fool! I mean what happened afterwards. In the midnight hour and after that. I hear the Indians conducted a surgical strike on our territory in Kashmir and got back unscathed too.

ISI Chief: WHAT??! Surgical Strikes?? (Nawaz hears a noise of crockery falling and breaking followed by a yelp of ‘Ahyiii… from the ISI Chief).

Nawaz: What happened?

ISI Chief: Nothing, I just spilt the green tea I was drinking. Surgical Strikes did you say? What utter rubbish. No one can even fart in Pakistan without us knowing it. And since we don’t know about it, it’s obvious that they never happened.

Nawaz: Are you sure? Hmm … where are your men by the way?

ISI Chief: They’re all busy keeping surveillance on the Chinese workers in Gwadar.

Nawaz: Gwadar … But the strikes happened in Kashmir!!

ISI chief: What Strikes? I’m getting tired of hearing all this surgical strike stuff! Of course, we routinely cross over and so do they. Who said anything about a surgical strike anyways? 

Nawaz: Well, the Army chief for one. He has a map too with strike locations.

ISI chief: Don’t believe that senile old fool. The only thing he’s good at is taking pictures of himself with the Army Uniform and blaming his shortcomings on the ISI.

Nawaz: But he claims to have proof! And if his findings are true … I will have you fired!!

ISI Chief: Really!! Well here’s some interesting info I just got today morning. Apparently someone sold a very upmarket properly in England and transferred the funds to a specific account in Panama belonging to …. Take a guess! It would be fun if this news went public!

Nawaz: What ?? I ..er... of course (laughs meekly) hehehehe...…. I meant to say that there’s a lot of ‘firing’ going on cross border so I must have used the word inadvertently.

ISI Chief: That’s better. Don’t use that tone with me again. Don’t forget who runs this country.

Nawaz: Of course. But what about the surgical strikes?

ISI Chief (shouts in a paranoid tone): WHAT SURGICAL STRIKES? ARE YOU TONE DEAF YOU DUMFUK?? IF I SAY THERE WERE NO SURGICAL STRIKES THEN THERE WERE NO SURGICAL STRIKES! NOTHING OF THAT SORT EVER HAPPENED D’YA HEAR?? (Calming down)Now have some green tea and clear your head.

The call is cut. Nawaz turns and bangs his face with that of the Army chief who had ventured close to him to hear details of every conversation. A loud shattering sound is head as both men’s faces collide. They shriek and hold their noses. The Army Chief slumps back his seat)

Nawaz (gingerly rubbing his nose): I guess you must have heard everything.

Pak AC (rubbing his nose too): Yes, the nerve of that rascal! Calling me a senile old fool. Tell him next time you meet him that’s he’s a sneaky slimy wall crawling Lizard.

Nawaz (controlling his temper with great difficulty): SHALL WE PLEASE .... please focus on the matter at hand? I think what he says is good enough. Let’s say that it never happened.

Pak AC: For once, he’s said something sensible. Let’s agree on that. It will be the perfect counterbalancing statement to India’s claim of launching surgical strikes. They are busy drumming their act to the entire world. Let’s counterbalance their claim and say that the attacks never happened. The world will get confused. India will be furious! After all, if we did admit the attacks happened, then we would also have to admit that there were terrorist camps in Kashmir.

Nawaz: But what if India releases footage, proof?

Pak AC: Then we will say that they are morphed of course. And we send them some morphed pics of our own. Don’t forget, we are past-masters in morphing pics and videos.

Nawaz: All right! Call the media and brief them. But before that let me call Modi and rub it in.

(Lifts up the Indo-Pak hotline phone and presses a button. A brief ringing sound is heard and after a while a soft click) 

Modi: Hello Nawaz! Thought about your ‘befitting reply’? I’m waiting to hear it.

Nawaz: I bet you are! Here’s my reply. The strikes never happened. The attacks must have been a figment of your imagination. You're hallucinating. You've trumped up this story to satisfy the Indian public.You’re probably daydreaming because of lack of sleep. Go have some rest first!

Modi (in a disappointed tone): Nawaz, I confess I am very disappointed by your ‘befitting reply’. I was expecting something very different. It’s the usual clichéd response.

Nawaz (sarcastically): Oh yeah! Like ..… were you expecting me to agree to them?

Modi (equally sarcastic): Would you? 

Nawaz: I .. er.. of course not. If nothing happened, then nothing did.

Modi (quickly): Very well then! So that’s your story and you’re sticking to it?

Nawaz (equally quick): Yes I am! (realizes his mistake) I .. er..mean nothing's happened. I've been saying so since morning.

Modi:(in a baiting tone) So you say the strikes never happened? 

Nawaz:(firm and adamant) No they didn’t!

Modi: And you’re saying that if the strikes never happened then there would have been no terror camps?

Nawaz: There are no terror camps across the LOC. In fact, there are no terrorists in Pakistan!

(Hearing this, the army chief fumbles his tea cup and drops some hot green tea on this lap)

Pak AC: Ahyiii !!!

Modi: What was that?

Nawaz (gives a reproachful stare to the Pak AC): Nothing. Please continue.

Modi: If there are no terrorist camps, then you’re saying that my boys didn’t cross the LOC after midnight and take out several of them?

Nawaz (suddenly gathering the true intent of Modi’s words): I ..er.. No .. they didn’t !

Modi (chuckling softly): Very well Nawaz! You stick to your story then. Have a good day. And by the way don’t forget, have some green tea! It will help clear the muddle in your brain.

(And saying so Modi disconnects. Nawaz and the Pak AC stare at each other for sometime not speaking. Then finally the Pak AC speaks up:)

Pak AC: He’s a cunning old devil that one!

Nawaz: Yes, so he is. He’s double trapped us. If we had protested, then we would have also had to agree that there were terror camps. Now that we’ve denied it, we’re actually disowning that they entered our territory. Very well, he’s put the ball in our court. We will have to respond. For the moment, we’ll have to stick to our theory that it never happened.

Pak AC: So we shall.

Nawaz (reaches for the intercom and presses a button): Arrange for a press conference today. AND STOP GIGGLING! I know that you and your lazy staff have been listening to each and every word I said. I am done with my hangover.

Secretary: Yes sir! 

(Sharif turns off the intercom. Both men stare at each other for sometime without saying a word. After a few minutes Nawaz quietly refills their green tea cups and both start drinking. Suddenly, Nawaz fumbles and spills some green tea on his lap .. again )

Nawaz: Ahyii!!

Pak AC: What happened?

Nawaz: It just occurred to me. If we deny the strikes, then what’s preventing Modi and his boys from launching another one?

(Now the Pak AC spills the green tea on his lap.)

Nawaz: What do we do in the event a second strike occurs?

Pak AC: I .. we.. we’ll have to think of a ‘befitting reply’.

Both men stare at each other with bleak expressions and continue sipping green tea from their cups.    

The Need for Speed !!

In the early nineties, a Japanese Business delegation visited India to explore investment opportunities. There were the usual cultural shows and a visit to the Taj Mahal, among other things as part of their itinerary. An interesting part of their visit was a train journey from Mumbai to Pune. The journey was largely uneventful and took between three to four hours. After reaching Pune, one of the members of the delegation curiously enquired about the total distance between the two cities to their Indian host accompanying them.

“It would be anything between a hundred to a hundred and ten kilometres.”, the Host replied.

“Just over a hundred Kilometres?? And the journey took over three hours?”, the Japanese visitor asked, aghast! “In Japan, this distance would have taken anytime between half an hour and forty five minutes via bullet train.”

The host did not have any answer to his visitor’s claim. But the conversation does open up a new and radical line of thought. What if an ultra-high speed train service was to exist between both cities? And what if it were to exist between all major cities in India?

India ranks among the largest railway networks in the world with a staggering Sixty Seven thousand three hundred and twelve kilometres of route covered (source: Wikipedia). Given the huge size of our country along with the extent of our railway network coupled with high demand and traffic, it is very surprising to know why High Speed Rail (HSR) networks were so long in coming to India. One only wonders why it took so long for the authorities to wake up. After all, major countries including China have developed their own HSR networks. Why should we fall behind?

The Indian Government’s recent announcement of setting up a High Speed rail network in the ultra-busy Mumbai Ahmedabad route comes as a welcome relief after years of speculation and false promises. Of course, Rome was not built in a day. Feasibility studies are ongoing. Other viable routes are being studied and it will be some years before dreams materialize into reality. But anyhow, it’s a step in the right direction. Towards progress. And let me illustrate how. The Mumbai Rajdhani Express, the fastest train in the Mumbai-Delhi corridor and the third fastest train in India covers the distance between Mumbai and New Delhi (1384 kms) in an average time of Fifteen hours and forty two minutes. Imagine how wonderful it would be if the travel time between both cities is reduced to a mere four hours. The Super-fast Mumbai Ahmedabad Shatabdi Express covers the 500 kms distance between both cities in an average time of Six hours and forty five minutes. What if the travel time between both cities would be reduced to a mere one and a half hours?

The Japanese 'Shinkansen' model bullet train.

Time saving and speedy travel is just the tip of the iceberg. There are other inherent advantages. Let’s say a person Mr. X is a Computer Engineering professional who stays in Mysore. Due to a local paucity of jobs he finds suitable employment in nearby Bangalore. It takes two to two and a half hours for him to travel between both cities one way, something which is not convenient on a daily basis as his job demands that he work hard and stay long hours. Therefore, he is forced to take up accommodation in Bangalore. Accommodation is expensive as rents in Bangalore are sky-high. But given his situation, he has no other choice. His tale is similar to that of many young engineers in his position who are forced to stay in big cities like Bangalore, adding to the growing number of residents in the city. This in turn puts immense strain on civic authorities to provide basic amenities such as clean drinking water, public transport and sanitation to cities with a burgeoning population which are already oversaturated. More number of people in the city also means more crowds, more security hassles, more vehicles and more pollution. 

But imagine if the situation was reversed. What if there was a high speed rail network running full time between Mysore and Bangalore which took only fifteen to thirty minutes to complete the journey? Now Mr. X can happily live in Mysore, take the morning train to Bangalore and work till late. He can return again by train in the night, just in time for a steaming hot delicious dinner after which he can sleep easy and get fresh for work the next day. Now he is no longer on the mercy of greedy landlords who charge ultra-high rents for sub-standard accommodation. He no longer has to face the merciless travails of living in a big city such as traffic jams, high cost of living, congestion and poor cleanliness, among others.

As illustrated above, introduction of HSR networks have huge potential for benefits in terms of reduction of travel time and other advantages as mentioned earlier. But if the HSR network only connects the big cities, then it would be a task incomplete. We should actually connect smaller towns and cities to major metros via HSR. As mentioned earlier, most of the jobs are concentrated in these major urban areas. People living in small towns are forced to migrate to big cities in search of employment and stay there despite the many pitfalls they will face. Introduction of High Speed trains between small towns to big cities will greatly reduce the travel time. People will now be able to live and commute easily from their home-towns without getting uprooted. This means fewer people will now migrate to bigger cities. This will bring down the already swelling population level in metros. This in turn, will reduce the congestion and pollution which currently plague all big cities in India. This shift in demographics will also force the Government to now concentrate its’ development on smaller cities. Overall, it’s a win-win situation.

But there also lie major challenges in HSR implementation. Cost is the major factor. Current studies have indicated that it would not be feasible to setup HSR networks on existing railway lines, as our current track setup is not stable enough to support a high speed train traveling well in advance of Three hundred kilometers per hour. Therefore, a special elevated line is planned to be constructed for the same. Costs of constructing such an elevated network spread across many hundreds of kilometers will run into thousands of crores of rupees. Ticket pricing would be another major challenge. Tickets should be priced low enough for the common man to not feel financially burdened to travel by HSR, but at the same time be competitive enough to enable the government to recover its’ money fully and start making profits in a relatively short span of time. There are other hurdles as well such as setting up the related infrastructure, land acquisition etc. which could take up a huge amount of time and resources considering red tape and how lethargic government processes generally are. But our newly elected government is citizen centric and is eager to win the trust of the people by speeding up processes and removing unnecessary hurdles. Of course, no cost is too high to make your citizens happy.

But then again, not everyone will be happy with the introduction of HSR. The thriving domestic airline industry will surely take a hit. If the HSR tickets are priced competitively, making it within reach of the average middle class salaried person, people will surely prefer travelling by train rather than flight. Airline Companies would be forced to lower prices in order to stay afloat. Many will resort to lay-offs and ruthlessly cut corners in order to add revenue and make their business sustainable. Those who will not be able to do so will have to shut shop. Also in the not-happy-with-HSR list will be real estate agents and brokers in big cities, people who have been making a tidy living of the earnings of hapless people by charging exorbitant amounts in rent and brokerage. That will be due to the fact that speedy means of transport by HSR will ensure fewer people are forced to migrate to big cities, which means fewer customers. Demand will fall, rates will crash and builders will have to target smaller cities.

Whatever the pitfalls and challenges are, HSR’s are surely a step in the right direction. Change is inevitable, no matter what the cost. And this change has been long in waiting. History has taught us that those who have adapted to change and have accepted it have been the ones to survive and prosper. But there is a very wide line between expectations and reality. How soon and how effectively the government delivers on it’s promises is yet to be seen, but for now one can only be contended waiting … and dreaming !!

Here’s my artistic impression of how the proposed HSR network should look like across India. Sorry for the crude map and haphazard lines. For now, I have only connected the metros and major cities of India. But time permitting, I will add detailed regional maps soon.

A note for my brethren from the North-East(NE): Apologies if you see the NE region not included in the high level map. I have very little idea of the topography and the locations of the capitals and major cities of the seven sisters. As I said earlier, time permitting I will add more detailed maps and the NE region will definitely be included too. In fact, I urge the government to also consider the NE in the scheme of things for HSR. Of course, it goes without saying the government will consider the NE much, much later as they will first concentrating on introducing HSR in the mainland first. But surely, our brothers and sisters from the NE deserve it. For too long have they been isolated from the growth and development process of the country. Any positive change towards progress should also include the NE, else the process will not be deemed complete. There are major challenges which lie in implementing HSR in the NE; the main one being the rugged and mountainous terrain which will impede speedy construction. But the task, no matter how daunting it may seem is definitely not impossible. Countries having similar landscape to the NE such as Switzerland have implemented effective rail networks despite the physical challenges, so I don’t see why it should be any different for the NE. In fact, planning and executing this task could be just the challenge our nation’s engineers are waiting for. If planned and executed smoothly, the HSR in the NE region could be one of the world’s foremost engineering marvels.

Another engineering marvel would also be accomplished if we build these HSR networks ingenuously rather than depend upon foreign nations for technical know-how. That again is a daunting task, but nothing challenging or rewarding comes easy. True, we might need their technical expertise initially, but later on we need to phase out and start building our own.

Edit: One of my many friends in Facebook dropped an interesting comment for this post. Repeating my friends' words, there is no point for Mr.X to travel 100 km from Mysore to Bangalore in under 30 minutes and then get frustrated for traveling for over 2 hours to reach his office 20 kilometers away from the train station, given the current state of Bangalore's traffic. Of course, it goes without saying that local and regional development have to go in step with national development.   

Well, that’s just my two cents. Comments and criticism are most welcome.

Regards,

Srinivas Pavan Addanki